Beth Hewett

Beth L. Hewett knows grief from personal experience, and she has a heart for those who grieve their loved ones. Her desire to help other bereaved people led to her work as a Certified Thanatologist (CT) with the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) and as a Certified Compassionate Bereavement Care™ Provider with the MISS Foundation. She also has earned a certificate in Death and Grief Studies from the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is a former National Catholic Ministry for the Bereaved Minister of Consolation Trainer.

Articles:

Tasks and Needs of Mourning

Tasks of Mourning Psychologist Dr. William Worden’s four tasks of mourning give grounding to much of grief research today. Worden saw mourning as the outward expression of grief. The tasks of mourning, in Worden’s approach, while numbered, aren’t a series of steps as much as a list of processes that bereaved people need to address over time: 1. Accept the reality of the loss. 2. Process the pain of grief. 3. Adjust to a world without the deceased. 4. Find an enduring connection with the deceased while embarking on a new life.[1] Worden’s work is among the most cited in thanatology. Needs of Mourning […]

Making Sense of Grief Through Mindful Writing

Making Sense of Grief Through Mindful Writing One way to address grief-filled paradigm change and transition is to engage in mindful writing exercises. Telling one’s story mindfully means sharing it with the bereavement facilitator or with grief support group members who also are wounded and bereaved of someone or something. In a ministry of consolation, using personal stories means talking—often through writing—about oneself. Talking, listening, reading, and writing each engage different neural pathways in the brain, which suggests that varying these actions can lead to new or different understanding of events. As bereavement facilitators, we can encourage this storytelling process […]

Why We Mourn

Cascade of Losses One July day, just ten days after his twentieth wedding anniversary and two days before his oldest child’s eighteenth birthday, my brother fell from the sky. I imagine him screaming—calling out in terror to God, to Mom, to. . . ; there was no time to call to others. The plane shattered to tiny, toy pieces. His pen, a Father’s Day gift, was scattered with his watch, his shoes, his plane. We, too, screamed with pain, shock, and grief. A little more than a year after my brother died, my ninety-year-old grandmother died. She had suffered from […]

Common Workplace Losses

There are many types of losses. Two that occur often in the workplace are loss of a parent and loss of a child. Here are some thoughts about these two losses. Quotes from bereaved people are in italics. Loss of a Parent Before my parents died, I was their child. Even though I’m an adult, I liked knowing that Dad ruffled my hair, calling me his kitten and that Mom wanted me to eat well, exercise, and have a job that I can love. Now that they’re gone, I’m an orphan, right? One of the most common workplace losses is […]

How Workplaces Handle Grief

Different Workplaces, Different Risks The death of a coworker can have a profound impact in the workplace. This impact often can be seen throughout the workforce—and, as workplace grief and critical incident specialists, we think the impact has been especially harsh during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to Thompson and Lund (2009), organizations have different typologies leading to potential contact with workplace death. These are a primary, central, continuous, and periodic focus (pp. 28-29). Death in Health Care An organization with a primary focus on loss and grief is one where death happens commonly during a work week—in fact, in these workplaces, […]

Helping Co-workers After a Loss

Helping Co-workers After a Loss Grief is a major workplace challenge—even without pandemic conditions. Bereavement experts (see Bento, 1994, for example) have seen workplace grief as “disenfranchised” insofar as the loss may be ignored or unacknowledged, not socially sanctioned or publicly shared (see Doka, 1989, pp. 4-7), and “stifled” insofar as “recognized grief [is] denied its full course” (Eyetsemitan, 1998, p. 471). It might at first seem that we can take care of our grief at home, away from work. Yet grief unacknowledged and unaddressed—even at work—is grief carried. There are remedies, however. A workplace that offers a culture of […]

First Responder Grief: Moral Injury

First Responder Grief: Moral Injury One of the least noticed griefs that first responders experience is what is known as moral injury, the broken trust with a worldview that includes emotional safety. Moral injuries include learning that you can’t stop crime, you can’t make a dent in war, and you can’t save everyone who needs saving. They include the knowledge that people who die—whether in house fires and earthquakes and from anything else—had their own hopes, dreams, aspirations, and even plans for dinner that night. Moral injuries include grieving your own humanity and humanness, as well as your regrets for […]

First Responder Grief: The Importance of Hope

First Responder Grief is Common When a critical incident occurs for a first responder, it’s become common to hear, “Thoughts and prayers!” These kind words help because they convey caring about the work of critical incident response. Yet, as first responders, you know that action and courage and other values also are essential to giving people hope. These values must go beyond thoughts and prayers. First response is all about hope. People who are hurting and scared take their hope from first responders. People hope that: ● those who intend to harm them won’t succeed, ● […]

What to Look for in a Grief Companion

By Beth L. Hewett, PhD, CT When we’re grieving and want support from a grief companion, it’s important to choose helpers who understand grief, purposeful mourning, soulful and spiritual work, and grief facilitation. The following are a few things to consider when seeking such support. Guidance They can walk with us but not carry us or tell us where and how to go about our mourning work. They can make us aware of potholes in the road, and if we fall into the holes anyway, they can help us get back out to begin journeying again. They can host light […]

Socially Present Grief in a Time of Physical Distance

Three weeks ago, a beloved deacon in the church suddenly died. His death occurred on a Tuesday morning, so the church was reliant on word of mouth and funeral notices on its website for spreading the news. Even so, the parish ministers were certain the visitations and funeral would be full, and they planned accordingly: three visitation periods and a full funeral Mass in the large church. Then, on Friday before the Saturday funeral, statewide decisions regarding the need for physical distance because of the COVID-19 virus were released. Immediately, the visitation structure was drastically changed, and the deacon’s funeral […]

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